there's a hole in my heart that goes all the way to china

I haven't been posting because I've been struggling, and I haven't wanted to get into it too much on this blog.

As I explained to my daughter - my body is better now, all healed and strong, but now it's time for healing my heart and making it just as strong. This whole thing took so much out of me, more than I realized until recently, and I am aching.

This has been exacerbated by people suddenly coming out of the woodwork. I can't help but find it really offensive to have someone ask me three or four months out, "How are you doing?" The insincerity and emptiness of it stings, and it's like picking at a scab for me.

I'll be fine. It's just that there's this hole in my heart, and I am trying to make it better.